Today was the first day. I finally decided to loose the twenty or thirty extra pounds I’ve been carrying around for the past, oh, three years or so. The plan? Walking, then running, then weight lifting. No pain, no gain. And today was the first day.
I dug the running shoes out from beneath the bed, I stretched the long neglected muscles in my calves, I did a few calisthenics. Then I opened the front door.
It was raining.
Recently I’ve been revisiting some short stories from my freshman literature textbook (one of those five pound volumes that could be titled The Norton Anthology of Everything). Since I obtained this volume, several presidents have passed through the White House, Microsoft has truly become the most influential entity in the world, and I’ve lost a lot of hair and moved halfway across the country—all of which resulted in significant changes in the world and my perspective. So I suppose it’s only natural that I felt a certain melancholy as I flipped the pages of this relic from my academic antiquity, smiling as I tried to decipher my ancient margin notes.
Here were some familiar faces (Lawrence’s The Rocking Horse Winner, Roth’s Defender of the Faith), some not so familiar faces (Mansfield’s Miss Brill, O’Conner’s Greenleaf—how did I ever miss that one?), and some old friends (O. Henry’s A Municipal Report, which I consider one of the greatest short stories ever written—and which the editor of the anthology considered merely trite).
Oh yes—and then there’s Hills Like White Elephants.
Well, I watched The Island last night with my wife. Maybe I’ll publish my thoughts later this week, but here’s my favorite quote from the movie:
Lincoln Six Echo: Who is God?
McCord: You know, when you want something really bad and you close your eyes and you wish for it? God’s the guy that ignores you.
So you’re wondering: Wow, if David Hasselhoff is doing a musical (see previous entry), who’s the next out-of-work television star do a musical? Here’s the answer to your question: a list of ten television stars who need a musical boost to their career!
And that’s not all! You can play, too. Just add a comment describing the Televison Star Musical you would like to see. Maybe, if I get enough comments, we’ll give away a prize for the best one.
So, without further ado, here’s the list:
Okay, the following is just too weird. Which is saying a lot for The Fisherman, who grew up idolizing drugged-up rockers who bit the heads off bats and drank their blood as part of their stage act.
According to Celebrity Week, David Hasselhoff will star in a musical about his life. Seriously. It’s called, get this: David Hasselhoff: The Musical. According to Celebrity Week, the show will feature sets from Hasselhoff’s career: The Young and the Restless, Knight Rider, Baywatch. The music will be written by Teddy Pendergrass.
Speaking to Celebrity Week, Hassellhoff noted: “It sounds like a bad joke, but it’s really going to be a good show.”
Well, he’s at least half right.
Growing up, I never got into Knight Rider. If I was bored, and here I mean completely, stupendously, the-only-other-outlet-for-my-entertainment-was-professional-wrestling-or-the Home-Shopping-Network bored, I might tune into Baywatch. Just for the plot, of course. The only episode I recollect seeing involved a lifeguard (played by Parker Stevenson) who had come to Robert Frost’s symbolic fork in the road: should he continue working as a lifeguard or should keep his job a lawyer? I don’t know about him, but a very real fear of sharks and about a gazillion dollars in student loans helped me make that decision.
Anyway, Hasselhoff’s musical foray will open in Australia, but he’s hoping it will end up in Vegas (which, by the way, is far too close to The Fisherman’s home to allow for any degree of comfort). From there, who knows? Maybe Broadway. After all, Baywatch did survive for twelve seasons.